Confessions

I submitted my withdrawal application to Republic Polytechnic today. In the corner of my heart I felt sorrowful for my doing. My soul wept lightly when my programme chair approved it immediately after viewing my reason for withdrawal. I hope I made the right choice. God please be with me on this.

After the confusing start of the day, I brought myself to where I find joy. I went to meet Amin and Ernest. A place where I feel at safe and warm; with my friends. Following a chat at Macdonald’s we went to play snooker at a nearby centre. It was lavishly exiting and promising. I think I am getting better at it day by day. Well then again, I ‘think’. Going at 1 hour we dragged on to 2 without realising. Fun never did have its limit there. Soon after it was followed by dinner at a nearby hawker centre. (My craving for hawker food is satisfied now) Just as my drink arrived, Dharshini, Navin and Rev co-incidentally bumped into us. What more can I say? It was all chit chat and laughs for the next hour. Really was a fun time until Rev said “let’s go home”. Bang! It hit the spot. My mood was fluctuating between happy and sad the moment I heard ‘home’. Going back has always been hard for me. A place where I despise to be; away from my friends, away from myself. Walking on the falling mood. I was building up strength to put away the misery and keep up the smile. Eventually I was hit harder. While walking towards the bus-stop. *blank* said “can you like walk further away”, “I feel like ...” I don’t understand why, but those words killed me. My world, happiness and trust just asked me to move away. I must have been that irritating. Sorry. I know what makes me happy, being with my friends; with you. But nowadays I am certainly confused what makes you happy. It almost feels like a day without meaning; on a day without you. There you have heard it *blank*. Now you know, how much you mean to me. Sorry, just too heart-broken to blog much further.

Out of the box: David Archuleta, you are my idol no matter the results today. Nevertheless good luck. I won’t be seeing the results programme, not in a mood to.

I need a hug desperately! Someone give it to me ASAP!